"What are men to rocks and mountains?"I said I would fix the third letter and here it is. Letter 3, one more time.
Jane Austin, Pride and Prejudice
I've rearranged some of the events a little; drastically cut some scenes. You were right the fitting scene was too long. Of course, I also cut down Falada's scene too, but it felt like I was getting too long winded. How long is this letter? Too long?
I tried to keep the descriptions suited to Ange's perspective. She's very attuned to her wisp, where they are, and what they are doing; as well as to sound. She overhears rumors, or the bells chiming.
Also I used a "devise" to lead into my longer scenes, and since I used it twice in this letter I wonder if that's OK. It's the following phrases: "I shall explain what happened." and "I know you'd appreciate hearing about her, so I shall do my best to describe her." Next time I'll try to be more original, think of something else clever to say.
Let me know what you think.
I don't know, I rather like the "devise" method...I mean, it works for letter writing...I'm not so sure it would work as a first person narrative....but yeah--- you don't want to overuse...hmmm.I guess I'm undecided.
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