Even though I didn't realize at the time how deeply I would fall in love with him, even at the beginning there was something about him that stuck with me and wouldn't let go. Perhaps it was his odd behavior when he learned my father was King, or how his touch changed the gelding I rode that day. Everyone at Ambress Manor noticed that, and thought I'd done something, but it wasn't me. After our brief encounter he didn't just fade from my mind, he grew larger and larger. I thought about him so often and wondered just just who he was.
Have you ever met anyone like that Iana? Someone who changed you just by appearing in your life. Perhaps you won't believe me, sister, I know I find it hard to believe myself, but this is how I fell in love with my Jack-of-the-Woods.
The second encounter I had with him was also in the Southwell Forest, just before we left Ambress Manor. I admit, Iana, I'd been haunting the woods, hoping to see him, but I was still surprised when I finally did. He was the same as before, exactly the same in appearance, even his clothes, the same rough tunic and slim boots with white fur. I greeted him, and he nodded. Then we stared stupidly at each other, neither one wanting to be the first to speak.
Finally I told him how I'd hoped to find him out here.
"I wanted to see you again, as well," he said.
My heart skipped. He felt the same way as I did, but then I remembered what I had to tell him, that I was leaving, and returning home to Castle Harmony Wind. As I spoke, the words felt so heavy, it was much harder to say than it should have been. He didn't respond to me either. He frowned deeply, then nodded again and walked away. He said no words of farewell, nothing like that, nothing at all in fact, not a single word.
I left the forest that day with a keen sense of disappointment in me, wondering what did I expect him to say? What did I hope he would do?
Weeks passed by, I resigned myself to the thought I'd never see him again, even thought I was still curious about him, I wasn't heart broken or anything, not after our strange parting.
It never dawned on me that he might come to the Castle, but its not as if he lived in Southwell. He goes wherever there is a forest.
Yes, I know sister, you don't have to remind me that there is no true forest near Harmony Wind. It's all farmland, fields of wheat, open pastureland and rising hills. But, you have forgotten the small grove of trees from the horse pasture. It was only a short walk from the stables. I can't say what drew me out there one morning, perhaps the thought of sitting amid the oak trees and thinking of him. Imagine my surprise, dear sister when I saw him there, leaning against one of the oaks. He almost blended in. An illusion, I thought, my mind playing a cruel trick on me, until he stepped forward and walked toward me.
That's where I always found him. He would be there in that grove of oak trees, whenever I walked through the pasture, and so we began to meet there in secret. I walked out everyday. Our conversations in the beginning tended to confuse me, and his manners irritated me often enough I would storm away, but I kept coming back. He was always there. We talked about anything, sometimes just pleasantries about the weather or what food we'd eaten. He was as puzzled about me, and my odd human habits, as I was puzzled about him, who he was, and what he was. We both yearned for some deeper connection, but neither one of us was brave enough to take that first step on our own.
Midsummer came, and for the first and only time I walked to the grove and waited for him. Usually he would have already arrived, so I didn't mind waiting a little for him this time. It was the longest day of the year, so there was plenty of daylight hours. Hours passed. The longer I waited the stupider I felt, but I couldn't bring myself to leave either.
I suppose you might remember sister, that was the day I fell sick to a summer fever. It was my own fault for sitting out in the heat without any food or water. That evening I stumbled home, delirious and collapsed near the stables. It was days before I could move freely on my own, and I hesitated to return to the grove. What if he wasn't there again? We never made each other any promises. We never spoke about when we'd see each other again. I knew how dangerous it was to sneak down and see him, and to keep such meetings a secret. I was a Princess, and who was he? But still, what hurt me the most was the thought of losing him - or that I'd already lost him. My place in the kingdom, my duties, my status, none of that mattered to me. Who he is doesn't really matter either. He was - and is - everything to me.
Oh Iana. Sister, even even now as we come closer to Winding, I don't know when I'll see him, but I know he is waiting for me. I don't know what I will do, or what will happen, but I know I can't bear to live without him. I love him so much. I will always love him no matter what happens.
I learned that last summer Iana, when one evening I looked down from a window to the grove - our grove - and saw it burning.
to be continued...
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