Bravely Broken #31 Iana

Iana and Joli. Joli comes from the french word for pretty. Iana is from . . . actually I have no idea. I think I just made it up. The confrontation between the sisters continues below. How easily we say things - or shout things - we don't mean to our family.

Bravely Broken

I waved to Joli from the window, tipping backwards unsteadily. She hauled me inside, dragging me roughly off the sill and down I crashed to the floor. My landing was not elegant, and I would certainly have bruises tomorrow.

"Didn't you hear me knocking earlier?" I asked.

Her face turned from pale to a livid purple, as it does when she is angry or embarrassed.

"Since you weren't answering," I complained. "I had to come around from the outside."

"That's no excuse."

"Sorry, I wanted to talk."

She began to pick up the boards I'd broken and to pick up the what remained of the orange and green tapestry I'd ripped in half. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Don't say that Joli. You know there is." I helped her gather the pieces. A crisp evening wind rushed into the open window. My room would be just as cold. "You don't have to do this. I heard what Father said, that he picked the fire rose for you, but that doesn't mean it's your fault. You're not to blame for what's happened. You don't have to make such a sacrifice."

"That's not why. It has nothing to do with my decision."

"Then why? Tell me why?" I begged her.

She was silent for a while, considering her words. I wondered when we'd stopped sharing our secrets. When did we stop speaking so freely and openly with each other?

Finally she said, "Someone has to go."

"It doesn't have to be you."

"Then you want to go?"

"I don't want to go." I recalled the lion eyes of that man and shuddered.

"I do," she said.

"Don't be such a martyr."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"Oh, why does it matter why. You'll just have to accept that I'm going. You're the eldest, whoever you marry will be Winding's next King. Your children will be first in line to inherit."

"You know as well as I do the law says nothing about the eldest daughter. It only says the crown is passed from the King to his son. It could just as easily be your husband who becomes the next King. That's why we both went to the Circle Kingdom, but no one wants to marry a poor princess from a backwaters, debt-ridden kingdom like ours. Is that your only reason, because I'm older and you're younger? Because that's not a very good reason. I don't see why that matters at all, or why you're acting like this, so willing to be a sacrifice. There must be some other way, something we can try to do. You've already given up."

"You don't understand."

"No, I don't, but I know I'll do whatever I have to do to save Winding."

"So you - you can save Winding by sacrificing yourself, but I can't?"

"I don't think anyone should sacrifice themselves."

"What if I have another reason?" She asked.

"What other reason can you possibly have?"

She opened her mouth to reply and then shut it, pressing her lips into a thin line.

My shoulders fell. "You won't tell me." I stood up, and walked toward the door that connected our rooms. I was tired. I'd pressed hard and still Joli wouldn't tell me anything. I wanted to cry. "Well?" I stood at the door, unlocked it and held it open.

She followed me over, but didn't say anything, just stood there.

"Fine, don't tell me." I snarled and stormed into my room. Then I slammed the door shut behind me so hard that I nearly missed what she said.

"If it means I can be near him, I'll go, even if he doesn't want me."

Her words cut at me. Him? I reached for the door knob. "What? Who are you talking about? What do you mean - who do you mean?" The door was locked again! She'd already locked it. I pounded on the door. "Joli. Let me back in. Who are you talking about? Answer me. Joli! I'll climb over there again if I have to"

"You wouldn't understand!" She shouted through the door. "How could you? You're too afraid to love anyone."

"That's not true."

"You're afraid of needles and pins. Anything sharp. Because of your old curse, even now you won't let anyone get close to you, so that you don't ever get pricked again. You're afraid Iana. You don't understand love, even when it's right there in front of you. You can't even see it. How can you possibly understand me?"

"You're not making any sense." I shouted back, but Joli stopped speaking after that and didn't answer again. I considered climbing back through my window, but I my aching muscles were so cold now. I shivered uncontrollably. 

I noticed the nails sticking out of the boards in my window. How did I not see them before? I didn't want to admit it, but Joli was, at least, partially right. The sharp nails did scare me, but she was wrong about love. I wasn't afraid of love. I'd spent months in Catha searching for a husband, someone I might spend the rest of my life with, someone who might be good enough to rule Winding after my father. Of course, I reminded myself what does love have to do with marriage. Poor shepherd girls and milkmaids could fall in love and marry whomever they wanted, but not a Princess, especially not a poor Princess like me. Joli knew it was our duty to marry for the Kingdom. Why was she spouting off about love? She couldn't possibly be in love, could she? That was so unlike my sister, and I couldn't imagine who she might be in love with either.

to be continued . . .