The end of Chapter 5 is upon us. I wanted to finish a chapter by the end of the year, and here it is. Iana has finally discovered a means to save her kingdom and to back fight against her enemies. Can you blame her for letting down her guard a little?
39# I'm Not afraid of Love
"Are you ready Princess?" Olwen asked as evening came on the last day.
"As long as it stays windy out," I said listening to the shutters rattle on the windows nearby.
The last ten days had flown by so quickly. Olwen and I sat together in the dining hall, not alone, of course. Aunt Luna was near the fire, her eyes resting. Joli had gone up to bed earlier, and Mother had taken some dinner up to her. I should have gone up to bed too, but I found myself wanting to stay in Olwen's company a little bit longer.
He looked exhausted. He wasn't eating his stew, just swirling the spoon around the bowl and breaking his bread into crumbles. His blond hair stuck to his forehead and poked out in the back like a duck's feathers.
All afternoon Olwen had trained the summerguards. While I'd spent the day gathering disguises. Tomorrow the guards wouldn't be in their uniforms, but dressed as simple villagers. I can't sew myself, since I was never taught needlework, and these days I can't even imagine touching a needle, so I watched over my Aunties - Aunt Morie, Aunt Ro and Aunt Sissy - as they did all the mending. That meant I ran about here and there, measuring and listened to their complaints, but at least it got done.
I sighed."I wish I could have helped more, sometimes I think it's silly to let a tiny needle frighten me."
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Olwen said, pushing aside his bowl of stew. He'd only eaten half of it. "Tomorrow is the day we've been preparing for. I'll be right here to help you."
"What about the guards, aren't you in charge of them?" Someone had to be.
"They all know what to do, but I've assigned one of Lord Ambress's sons to lead them."
"Oh? Which one? The tall one, or the handsome one?" I asked, the words slipping out before I realized what I was saying.
"I don't know, your highness, most of the Ambress boys are tall. Do you consider them handsome?" He teased me.
"Sometimes," I turned away blushing, not certain how to deal with Olwen's teasing.
That's twice now, I chided myself. Honestly, what was wrong with me? Had the last ten days confused me? Just because I'd spent so much time with Olwen didn't mean I could act recklessly familiar with him, forgetting myself and my rank. Twice was two times too many. First, when I'd danced with him, and now this flirting at the dinner table.
If it was allowed I might have fallen in love with Olwen, but it wasn't possible. I couldn't.
I wanted to tell Joli, you see sister, I'm not afraid of love. I could be in love with Olwen, but I'm not. It's not so hard to fall in love, rather it's much harder to stop yourself from falling.
I didn't want Olwen to get the wrong idea about us either.
So I stumbled on, no matter how difficult the conversation might have turned. "We owe Lord Ambress a great debt." I began to explain. "He has sent all seven of his sons, and he's guarding the Southwell Forest, in case of any threats. He's always protected our southern border, and our ports on the Trade River. When this is all over, if we win, then we must repay Lord Ambress somehow. I plan to see to it myself."
Olwen stiffened in his seat. "You mean to repay Lord Ambress by marrying one of his sons?"
I nodded briefly.
He stood abruptly, bumping the table with his knees. Soup spilled from his bowl, the liquid spread across the table and dripped off onto my skirt.
"I'm sorry Princess, I-"
I shook my head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." I told him, taking out a handkerchief to wipe at the stain away. Olwen looked as if he wanted to help, but at the same time couldn't bring himself to say anything. My heart twisted in my throat. Heavier than before. I'd never wanted to hurt Olwen. I hoped he understood that.
From the fireplace Aunt Luna cleared her throat. "Why the hour must be past midnight!" She declared loudly, rubbing at her eyes. She gathered her skirts and hurried over to me. "I had no idea it was this late. Iana, will you help me get to bed before I fall over from lack of sleep?"
I rolled my eyes. It was barely past sunset, but that was Aunt Luna's way of saying 'enough dallying you two, it's late.'
Aunt Rosemary would have been blunt about it. Oh, Aunt Rosemary, how I missed her. Tomorrow would be a long hard day. So, I bid Olwen goodnight and he bowed so low I couldn't see his face or eyes. If it's one thing I've learned, Olwen's eyes tell a great deal about what he is thinking.
Leaving the dining room I noticed my Aunt Ro had been listening just outside the door, probably squinting at the pair of us. Now all my Aunts would hear about my conversation with Olwen, not that there was anything to suspect.
However, Aunt Ro pretended she hadn't been listening, she said good night to me, and mumbled, "Not that you'll get much sleep tonight."
I wondered if anyone would.
And then, as if Aunt Ro had predicted it, I heard the sound I'd been dreading for a long time.
It came from the gate, where our little drummer sat day and night. I could hear him and the steadying beating of a drum. One meant a familiar face, three for the arrival of a new ally or someone from the village, and to drum constantly was the signal that they had arrived. The Lion and the Wolf had returned.
to be continued . . .
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